Rediscovering the joy of writing
For years, I wanted to be a writer. From middle school to the end of high school I started a bunch of novels that I never finished, and some short stories as well. I liked doing it. I was comitted to it and did it quite often. Problem is, I wanted to be a Writer, which meant after a certain age I decided I just wasn't good enough to keep writing, I lacked experience and references, and that ended up being the end of the process.
This year I got back to writing. I had a glimpse of inspiration, a really cool idea I wanted to develop, and I just started. I absolutely hate stopping and planning what to do, which is obviously not the best way to do it, so I ended up starting two drafts, and in this second round, which began this week, it's been such a joy.
Again, I'm sure if I stopped to read what I've got done so far I might hate it, but this isn't my goal anymore (or at least not at the moment). It's a hobby, I'm taking pleasure out of the action of writing by itself. Typing and letting the characters flow as I go is great, and even without much planning done, the more you spend with an idea, the more it grows within you, and I think this is the first time in my life where I'm able to commit to something.
It's not the first time I feel happy about writing. I remember perfectly one such moment of "late planning" in high school, when the story really fell into place in my mind, and that just brought me much happiness. So, in 2024 it's not the first time this is happening to me, however it is the first time I can fully enjoy the feeling without the shackles of trying to be "good." I have a full time job, so fuck it, I'm doing it to have fun. The good thing about hobbies is you don't even need to be good at them. If, by any chance I get anything done that I'm happy with and proud of, then I might release it publically, but that's a big if. My only rule now is absolutely no pressure as long as I keep doing it frequently.
Not so coincidentally, this is the year I got back to reading books, which I always wished was a constant in my life, but embarrasingly so I always struggled with. And granted, I'm still a very slow reader, but now at least I'm reading something. That's the kind of thing that I lacked, honestly.
I don't know how long this will last, though I want it to be a frequent hobby in my life in one way or another. I had a hell of a month with not much in my mind outside of work, and starting this project now helped to fill a gap which I hadn't even realized was there; not only that, expressing yourself, putting the words on the blank page… It's enriching when you don't have yourself yelling at your own ear.
Yeah, I just felt like I needed to put something on here about what's going on, now that I finally got something worth talking about after the busiest month of the year by a large margin. It's always October for some reason. Or at least it's the second year in a row where October destroys me, I hope this doesn't become a tradition.
I gotta finish by shouting-out Cosmic Warlord Kin-Bright by Thaliarchus. I'd been thinking about writing for months earlier this year, and seeing a live reading of his magnificent epic poem about gays and giant robots (precisely what I was thinking about writing), was what finally drove me to open a new document and start typing. As I mentioned, I did start it twice with a large gap inbetween tries, but the first impetus to do it came after seeing an indie project like that. Like, yeah, you can just do whatever you want, right?