Reminiscing but not really about the past
I swear I didn't forget to post this month, I was just waiting for some things.
My younger brother came to visit this week, him and my father and my father's wife, whom I haven't seen since 2022. In late 2019, right before the pandemic struck for good, they moved to the neighbouring state in the south and I haven't visited them since, they've only visited once in 2022 as mentioned. I was actually pretty nervous before they arrived — let's just say things are complicated, I don't want to get into it — but it turned out okay. My dad and his wife had stuff to do so I didn't see them that much, but my brother stayed with us in our house, which was fun but also a big shock. First of all, he's way thinner now which came as a surprised; then, he's nearly done with college, and to me it doesn't completely feel like he's 21 years old, I guess I'm too used to seeing him as a kid. He's got his own hobbies and interests and is doing his stuff (he's got a YouTube channel which he told me about before the trip), and I'm proud of him and just glad he's doing okay. It was nice seeing him again.
As for my father and his wife… I'll say there was a lot of baggage but things went fine when we went out together, better than I expected. It's been enough time and the things that mattered before don't matter now. I think everyone moved on, which is why I saw him and my mother talking for the first time since, what, 2016, 17? I actually started to panic, but, really, time healed whatever tension there was left and they could have a normal conversation, something I never even considered could ever happen again. I'm not used to change (even though things changed a lot already), and seeing all at once how things changed… I don't know how to describe, I wasn't ready to deal with it then.
Well, that was a week ago already. Now I'm just happy things seem to be doing mostly okay on their end. It drove home I should just forget about the stuff that happened in the past, as uncomfortable as it may have been at the time, and move on — which I had already done, but this week kinda brought everything to the forefront again. Bittersweet, I guess.
I was planning on writing about the games I've been playing but I think I prefer to leave that as a separate post now LOL. See you in a while.